It is has been a month since the sudden loss of my brother. Even writing it seems odd. A brother is the kid you grew up with. The one you raced to the car to get the seat you wanted on long vacation rides or trips to school. The one who made you laugh at those times when your parents wanted you to be serious. The one who was always there and you never worried that he would go away because why would he. My mind is trying to make sense of losing a brother; a sibling, a person that was close in age to me. But my mind and heart are having a hard time of this.
My brother was an artist; a genius at making and creating. He wasn’t a big talker but he was a deep thinker and sensitive feeler. In fact some people are far too sensitive for this world we live in and he was one of those people. He was one of those types who loved animals, loved little kids, who loved to share art projects or share puttering together making or cleaning something. Because he was one of those, he left parts of his soul all over the place. Now I love finding those parts…
Life moves forward. His wife and family are sorting through all of his things as they grieve far away from where I live. For me, this has been a strange and lonely death. He and I connect at all the beginnings of our shared life. We shared the same house of our growing up days with cats and dogs and so many people living in it. He sat across from me at the dinner table. We watched Star Trek together in the afternoons spitting sunflower seeds in a dish, he washed the dishes at my elementary school as the big 6th grader job when I would bring up my food tray-he pretending he would squirt me. How could he leave? He was sturdy, solid and fearless as all big brothers are. Surely he was stronger than death.
Whenever you would leave my brothers house he would walk you outside all the way to your car just like my parents used to do, to say good-bye. But he left this time without saying it.
He went Home. And something is missing so much in my heart.
Have Fun With It! 