Not every father feels comfortable wrapping those big dad-arms around their child to say “I love you.” Papa’s love can’t match mama’s loving, but they are entitled to their own ways of expressing appropriate affections for their children. They have their own “father love-language.”
What is your father’s? Not your love language you want to receive from him, but think what he does to try to show love to you?
Take one of my brothers as a father, for instance. He is one of the rare dads who grabs his kids in a big bear hug and shows his affection with gusto any time he is with them. His children also are affectionate people and not afraid to hug and touch with love.
One of my other brothers, as a father shows little emotion with his children in the form of hugging or touch. But his love language is spending quality time with them having them make something with him. He expresses his love when he sets up a potters wheel with clay and tools, sets up glass rods to make beads, fires up his kilns to blow glass, or has them participate in a project which encourages time spent just with him.
My father-in-law’s fatherly love language is not hugging and kissing at all. But he expresses his love by trying to be a helper. He wants to be useful to his children and teach them self reliance. He will make sure they know how their cars get gased, oiled and tires changed. His love language is nurturing but in a fatherly sort of way.
My husbands love language is definitely sports! Thank goodness all five of our children can play most sports because it is the way their dad expresses great big love.
There are so many fond memories which include sports and our family playing with their dad. From clear back taking our first two children to the driving range and even cutting down a driver so the two year old could swing and hit the golf balls with ease. Their dad taught those same two babies how to “pickle” in the front yard of our first house. The mitts were nearly half the size of their bodies but they learned how to catch and run with their dad. He continued that sports play when three more babies came.
My husband not only can play most sports well, but he also LOVES to watch sports on television. Tennis is his favorite sport to play and watch. To share all those games every single season is similar to plastering all his babies with hugs and kisses; while rooting for their favorite teams snacking on salsa and chips.
My husband coached some of our children’s sports teams over a span of 32 years, and when not coaching rooted, perhaps a little too hard while watching. He’s probably had the most warnings of any father put on him from referees; even got kicked out of games on occasion.
Our family always has a ball, a made-up game for any occasion with a ball, or will make up some type of sport which will substitute as a ball. We play catch in airports, at church functions, in hotel swimming pools, even out car windows. In fact we would be rich if we were given $10 for every ball we counted in our house right this second.
Our children always have some type of competition going with their dad whether it is throwing rocks at a floating log in a lake, kicking field goals at the high school field, a ping-pong tournament, or seeing how far they can launch a water balloon. It’s their daddy that spreads out his arms as big and wide as he can with all that love a dad can muster in that dad-hug when he is doing, watching, talking about, attending, rooting, shopping at sports type stores, or competing in any type of sport with his kids. On this very night a ping-pong tournament is planned in the late night hours…
Look at your own father and discover what he does to express his love language. Sunday June 18th is father’s day. Let him show you how much he loves you by allowing him to give love his way; in his love language. And then let him.
Happy Father’s Day to our dad and yours.
(Punching, bullying, demeaning or sarcastic speech are not love language expressions. These things are hurtful and wrong and are not appropriate actions to any human being; especially a father. Mean is never love and never a substitute for it!)