Magazine’s, home networks, and electronic sites
encourage us to
declutter, tear down the old, refresh, reorganize…
It is good to do those things.
it feels like your life
is being peeled and scraped off walls
and all the little pieces are put
in the garbage can.
It is strange
that the first photos
sent out of my childhood home
being torn apart
to get ready to
sell is of
my childhood room.
The room that stayed the same…
so all the little children who ever entered
our family home
would have a “toy place.”
Looking at this picture makes me feel like I have been punched in the stomach!
This paper knows all my secrets–knows me as me.
I was first put in my crib right there with those new butterflies to look at.
My parents kissed me goodnight every single night right there.
I learned to pray kneeling beside my bed there by a yellow bed spread.
I played dress up and lined my bed with all my dolls and stuffed animals right there.
I watch the sun rise through my window and would catch the rays in the dust while lying in my bed next to the white sheen wall paper, with my white doggy, Joey warming my feet, and day dreaming of all things a young girl wishes at different stages of her life…right there.
I heard through that very wall, lined with blue stripes, the last breathes of my mother, barely one year ago as I said good-bye for the last time…
Refreshing is good.
But not when it is pieces of your life
being ripped off and thrown away in pictures!
I am sure the freshly painted white walls will look very clean and nice.
And someone soon will walk in that freshly painted space and look all around and make some comment about using it for a gym, or office and not have a clue the spirit and life that grew up in those walls
in that tiny little room!
The garbage truck just pulled away with junk and paper inside…can you hear it.
It is gone!