The Last Christmas

Last year at this time everyone was bustling with the Christmas rush but I felt I was on a conveyor belt being moved by the push of the season, going through the motions but my head thinking of one thing. 

I remember a time so vividly holding my fresh new babies in my arms close to the lighted Christmas tree in the quiet moment of an evening feeling a swell of emotion knowing all the wonderful years of Christmas celebrations were ahead.

But what about the other thought. The thought that I was trying to push far from my mind but kept resurfacing. This would be my mother’s last Christmas.  The last Christmas! I remember rubbing her feeble hand, my heart breaking. NO! I don’t want it to be! This woman who lived the Christmas spirit every single day of her life. How awful to think she had to leave the world and not have Christmas ever again! This thought troubled me greatly.

But it came true. It was her last…

This Christmas I am squeezing on so tightly so it won’t go away like so many things in my life have done this past year. I have lived 2014 numb and heart broken but I am determined not to during Christmas time; for my husband and kids,…for Santa Claus… and for mom! It is my mother’s spirit I feel in everything I do, in everything I think of. I sometimes imagine she is standing next to me as I move along in a hurry trying to do all the things I expect of myself to do for the season.  I think she is trying to whisper to me to slow down and to enjoy what is most important; family.

But just recently, I know she whispered something new to me.

Something wonderful!

Something I take as my choicest Christmas gift.

“My Darling Girl!” I can hear the words pass my ears and travel deep inside my soul. “There is no such thing as a last Christmas! Christmas began in Heaven! Christmas is celebrated even grander in heaven than on earth.  The Angels sing! All creations celebrate this blessed event. A precious gift was given by our Father in Heaven to bless ALL of His children. Jesus Christ was born! That is why the earth feels holy at this time. That is the true miracle of Christmas. It is the memory of LOVE by our HEAVENLY FATHER!” 

I can hear her say, “Daddy and I are celebrating right along with you. Listen and feel with your heart, and you will know we are close by. Very very close…My big ‘ole arms are hugging you tight!”






This entry was posted in Earth Angels, From my Heart and Hands, My Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Last Christmas

  1. Katie says:

    This post made my cry and then comforted my heart so much!!

  2. Daniel Edwards says:

    loved your post today — very neat insight that i hadnt thought of before

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