Welcome To Parent School by Colin Bowles

Dedicated to those who are wondering…

Are you ready to be a parent? Let’s see…

A. To find out how the nights will feel, walk around the living room from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. carrying a wet bag weighing eight to 12 pounds. At 10 p.m. put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to bed. Get up at 12 a.m. and walk around the living room with the bag till 1 a.m. Set the alarm for 3 a.m. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2 a.m and have something to drink. Go to bed at 2:45. Get up when the alarm goes off at 3 a.m. Sing songs in the dark until 4 a.m. [with the bag] Set the alarm for 5 a.m. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful!

B. Hollow out a melon and make a small hole in the side roughly the size of a golf ball. With a piece of string, suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy cereal and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half the cereal is gone. Tip the rest into your lap. You are now ready to feed a 12-month-old baby. To prepare for toddlers, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jelly on all the curtains. Hide a fish stick behind the stereo and leave it there for a couple of months.

More to come…

This is an article I saved from the Readers  Digest  years ago. I thought I would share it with you to let you know you are not alone…

This entry was posted in Have fun with Family, My Children's Books, Play Time and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Welcome To Parent School by Colin Bowles

  1. Katie says:

    Oh my gosh. Im laughing so hard right now. This is truly how it is!

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